Home away from home…

I sometimes wonder

If I would have the courage to become as soluble as you

Allow myself to blend into a movement

To simply be a fist

Or a finger

Or a fingernail

In the body of an uprising

Would I be okay, with being a casualty statistic, just to let the world know

She has been in denial of her issues

I promise you

I never wanted to be a part of this much history

Never wanted someone’s teacher in history class to be discussing my family

writing pros and cons on black boards like these aren’t people

I have never felt so small

To be trampled by a burden

A story

Of a people

Bigger than life

All of these people are God’s children

none of them agree

Not sure who’s right and who’s wrong

don’t care

they all need to eat

All need places to sleep at night

I think she has forgotten us

But can you blame her

She has a lot of baggage

Letting too many men conquer her

Letting her stories become lies over time

Her truths…

All truths

Are about three or Four words long

I miss you

I love you

I’m scared

Anything added on to that only brings you closer to a lie

But don’t you dare act like I don’t reflect you, no matter where I stand in proximity to your tears

My sweet pistol of a home

May you erupt like a volcano

we have always known you to be

to one day enjoy the calm you have always deserved

 

She used to be beautiful you know

I remember seeing god telling stories to her children

as everyone

Was looking for him in a place of worship

But he was smart enough to know where her angels hid

Now those kids are grown

Her youth have gotten restless

When you’re raised singing songs of fear…

when the cops you are supposed to turn to for help

are the reason you need help…

 

I can see how celebrating your spirits freedom can look like a riot

I get it

I can see how a reporter can misread our tidal waves

for his target practice

i understand

but.

When you’ve taken everything from a people

You made the mistake

Of giving them the power

Of having nothing to lose

I don’t know if I would be strong enough

To demand what is mine

I don’t know how I would fair in a duel with a giant

I like to think the courage would be provided on the battlegrounds

Along with something to eat

I wish I could show her

What my pride is worth

How much I do miss her

What I would do in her honor

How I would give you the breath from my lungs, so my chest can be as eagle

As our flag

Just to be included in your sacrifice

How dare I try to write something poetic or beautiful?

Against the credit of my nations suffering

Please forgive me

For it is the only way I know how to cope…

…with something so much bigger,

than just one person.