Well actually

She wishes she could sing …

In public

And she can

But wont

when she’s alone

she paints the room

with the harp in her throat,

she makes the paint on the wall get her songs stuck in their head, you can hear the echo days later

she wishes she wasn’t so shy

approaches guys with well planned steps

shoes get tighter and more uncomfortable as she inches closer

preps every word, and at the last minute decides its probably for the best she doesn’t say anything

acts like she was walking past him,

acts like she sees someone in the distance

gets on her phone to avoid the awkwardness

she reads corny romance novels, throws them across the room mid sentence and yells “why don’t guys talk like this!!!’

then bursts into laughter at the fact she threw a fiction book across the room for not being realistic

at night she is most strong

thinks of the best jokes

“why am I only funny when no one is around” she thinks

“why am I only charming, when hypothetically responding to lines in movies”

she had no great tragedy

no drunken father

no scars of sorrow

just a timid smile like a rubix cube

and I was never any good at solving those

she feels bigger than the life she leads

feels like she shoulda lived in another era

miss cast in a play

bad timing, and awkward one armed hugs

she wishes everyone could see what she feels

she wishes being nice, made her sexy

but her pride was put on backwards

at times she argues with her self, trying to convince her to have less integrity

be like the girls that the boys like

but she’s stubborn

when she is quiet in the corner of a room

with eyes full of what ifs and why nots.

Judging people for being so judgmental

That’s when I can hear her yell the loudest

I can’t hear anything else over her silence

When you get to know her

I swear it’ll be the biggest surprise of your life

She’s brilliant

Original, one of a kind knock knock jokes

Movie recommendations via Netflix of your next favorite film

Songs on her ipod are all honest

Every lyric of every song is right

All the time

But you wont get to know her

Cause she wont say hi

Nor will she give you a reason to

But if she did, you would be best friends

Maybe even fall in love

Maybe shell introduce you to your future wife

Cause she’ll know you that well

Her Cashmere finger tips feel like they belong on your face this quiet girl cant be human

At least she doesn’t feel human

She feels static-y

She feels purple!

She’s gorgeous but not magazine gorgeous

She’s ‘would make a great mom’ gorgeous

She’s ‘pick you up when your stranded’ gorgeous

She’s wake up and already beautiful…gorgeous

But she won’t know that till you tell her…

And I would go up to her

Become her friend

And maybe one day on the phone around 2:31 in the morning

Give her some great advice

But I don’t know anything

So I wont say anything

I’m just as lost, as she is.

Maybe I need someone to tell me that being lost is normal

But it sure doesn’t feel normal

And when someone tells you they understand

The first thing you think of is

“you don’t understand shit”

but the first thing you say is

“I know you do”

and the funny thing is she cares what people think

but not as much as I do…cause I would never admit, that I care what people think.

It gives me faith that women get less crazy as they get older

Although I should probably know better

Although he has perfected tuning her out when she goes on her adorable rants

His watch hates when he pretends like he doesn’t care

His watch was there from the beginning

And his watch always had a good feeling about her

Her ring on the other hand

Was always skeptical

Probably because she new he would one day purchase her replacement

Little did she know, that her, would wear them both

Stacked like totems, to show the total combination of her before him

And her as his wife

She isn’t the type to replace her past with her present she collects moments

And will have something to show for it at the end

And I bet he doesn’t remember what its like to walk with a free right hand anymore

Learned to drive with just his left

Incase she ever needed a second seat belt

His right hand couldn’t let itself get distracted by driving

So it rested like it was in the reserves

Reserved gently on her thigh,

If anything is to happen, his watch, would watch the road, as he

And his right hand, make sure she’s ok

His shoes were old and a bit worn

But they still squeaked when he walked

So he can at least sound like he had on new ones

To impress her

His shoes had his back

So did his jacket

After all

It hugged her every time he did

His jacket knew her smell, sometimes it held on to it

So when she isn’t around he doesn’t forget how lucky he is

But she was pretty lucky herself.

And her pearls knew it

They remember how nervous they got when they first got that close to his tie

But it’s not like his tie was all that confident

It almost choked him during that first kiss

It knew that landing him that kiss, would get it worn to all job interviews and important meetings

His tie LOVED meetings

It was now his lucky tie

And it lived up to its title.

He was wearing it the day he proposed

a long with a brand new pin striped oxford button down.

And boy did he perform well on his first day on the job.

He didn’t even notice the wine stain till he was thrown on the floor later that night

But no one could hear him complain about the wine, over the two lovers.

At least it wasn’t the cheap stuff.

Her butter fly hairpin watched everything from above

She was a fourth of an inch taller than his hat but she would never point that out

He had a bit of an ego when it came to his height.

That morning he stared at her in amazement

All that talk guys have about being afraid of being with one woman for the rest of his life went out the wide-open French window

This was in fact the only woman he would ever get to sleep with,

But he didn’t like to brag.

The only thing he was afraid of that morning

Is any morning from then on that he didn’t wake up next to her.

And 51 years later

As he wakes up next to her his watch suggests he nudge her arm

They wake up

And without saying a word

Look around at all the reminders of 51 years of stories.

They look at each other and burst out into an uncontrollable laughter

His watch felt like a compass that day

His watch had always wanted to be a compass,

But he figured making sure he’s on time to her, was almost the same as leading him her way…

We have all made mistakes, wearing hers like a mirror, will make you disgusting to look at; let it go…and let her move on, the way you would like people to let you

When you kiss her, try not to still be texting as your lips lock

Phones off at dinner; this one, can literally save the whole relationship

Keep the Internet…out of your lives; this goes for both men and women
Public opinion, public commentary, other peoples uneducated thoughts have never helped a couple grow stronger, and they never will!

Get tested, there is nothing more beautiful, then doing something your embarrassed about, for the sake of true and genuine concern for both your safety

Guys, your straight male friends…will call you gay, for wanting to hang out with a woman, instead of them…I know it makes no sense…excuse them, they are lonely and think its gay you found happiness.

I know you know her ex, don’t bring him up. Picking scabs is for children, not adults who are trying to build love out of shards of broken mirrors

The day you slip and call her a “bitch” will bring you one step closer to beating your insecurities into her cheek bones…so don’t, under any circumstance, ever.

I know you think you’re famous, but never forget she is your biggest, and sometimes, only fan.

Also in regards to your celebrity, it is okay to be seen in public, blaming it on “you don’t like people talking about you guys” is lame…and an insult to her intelligence.

Get a job, I know this ones tricky…but if your art isn’t paying for your livelihood, you haven’t earned the luxury of being an artist for a living so I repeat

Get a Job Baptize the day in sweat; there is nothing low, or dishonorable about a hard days work. I promise you, you will look more like a man to her, than you ever did sitting on the couch waiting for your big break.

Silence is golden…
A relationship, consists of two people, Just those two people should know the ins and outs of said relationship. The more people you include, the more likely you wont last.

Just incase you missed it. Get a job

And lastly I know we have adopted lies as a second slang, but try to speak the truth…it will save you the stress of not getting caught. Its much easier to have nothing to catch in the first place.

“If I was on some drugs now, I wouldn’t give a fuck…but then I’d come off stage, and still not give a fuck. By the time you hit 50, and a lot of not giving a fuck, you miss a part of your life ‘hey what happened to your life?…I didn’t give a fuck.’”

If I would have the courage to become as soluble as you

Allow myself to blend into a movement

To simply be a fist

Or a finger

Or a fingernail

In the body of an uprising

Would I be okay, with being a casualty statistic, just to let the world know

She has been in denial of her issues

I promise you

I never wanted to be a part of this much history

Never wanted someone’s teacher in history class to be discussing my family

writing pros and cons on black boards like these aren’t people

I have never felt so small

To be trampled by a burden

A story

Of a people

Bigger than life

All of these people are God’s children

none of them agree

Not sure who’s right and who’s wrong

don’t care

they all need to eat

All need places to sleep at night

I think she has forgotten us

But can you blame her

She has a lot of baggage

Letting too many men conquer her

Letting her stories become lies over time

Her truths…

All truths

Are about three or Four words long

I miss you

I love you

I’m scared

Anything added on to that only brings you closer to a lie

But don’t you dare act like I don’t reflect you, no matter where I stand in proximity to your tears

My sweet pistol of a home

May you erupt like a volcano

we have always known you to be

to one day enjoy the calm you have always deserved

She used to be beautiful you know

I remember seeing god telling stories to her children

as everyone

Was looking for him in a place of worship

But he was smart enough to know where her angels hid

Now those kids are grown

Her youth have gotten restless

When you’re raised singing songs of fear…

when the cops you are supposed to turn to for help

are the reason you need help…

I can see how celebrating your spirits freedom can look like a riot

I get it

I can see how a reporter can misread our tidal waves

for his target practice

i understand

but.

When you’ve taken everything from a people

You made the mistake

Of giving them the power

Of having nothing to lose

I don’t know if I would be strong enough

To demand what is mine

I don’t know how I would fair in a duel with a giant

I like to think the courage would be provided on the battlegrounds

Along with something to eat

I wish I could show her

What my pride is worth

How much I do miss her

What I would do in her honor

How I would give you the breath from my lungs, so my chest can be as eagle

As our flag

Just to be included in your sacrifice

How dare I try to write something poetic or beautiful?

Against the credit of my nations suffering

Please forgive me

For it is the only way I know how to cope…

…with something so much bigger,

than just one person.

Sincerely Yours, The Breakfast Club

promise me

you’ll never
think less
of the virgin attempts

that it took
to transparent
the translucent
of your opaque

i am
but a protest
in the face
of your abandoned
conquest.

so let me
understand your bearings.

i promise
to try
and pirate your
disbelief in me

and auction it off
to the sky.
only problem with that.
its hard to
pinpoint where the horizon
begins or ends
when you stare
too long into the cosmos.

so no.
No i will not call you mortal
when your everyday is
is the penchant of immortality
scraping the space
around your waist
like an asteroid belt
because it was destined
for planets to orbit in curves.

No i will not trap fireflys
in transparent jars
for your liking.
so i beseech you
tell me your name is sun.
let me answer to earth
while you send sunrays
to tapdance on my smile
in morse code.
there is only life on my face
because we love in secret.

Legends have told
of how you were able
to supernova your way
out of a black hole.

so let us conversate
in the underground of me
so i can share with you
my core values.
i hope that is not too much to ask.

it’s just that
my karma
is taking a liking
to your future.
and the nights
never get too dark
because you do simple things like
sitting on your porch
cutting your nails
and tossin the nail clippings to the sky
as they take the shape
of many moons.
Even your simple actions
exude the ethereal.

and i dont know
what it’s like to
change constellations
according to mood swings
so teach me
what it means to be precise
with directing anguish
to the inside of my Pandora’s Box
and I could reverse my fortunes
because heaven forbid
i lose hope in what it means to be human
when others have used meteors
to play target-practice with my shame.

but i will always question
the validity
of conspiracy theorists
proclaiming a catastrophe
that on September 8
in the year 2040,
at approximately 7:30pm
all the planets within
our solar system
will line up
according to the sun
within degrees of each other.

On september 8
in the year 2040
at approximately 7:30pm
i will be 54 years old, 4 months. 27 days, 11hours, 46min and 1 sec.
The distance between will be approximately 93 million miles.
The average human walking speed is 4/mph.
which means it would take 2,654 years to walk from the earth to the sun.
That is quite the journey if i can say so myself.
So i would split it up between my great grand children times 10^54 power
and they would pass the baton of the legacy i started
just so they can hear the story of the journey that I took to get to you.
and that miracles
are worth taking for that one leap of blind faith.
so when my great grand child from the 10^54th
finishes the race and learns
what it means to be human
he would probably say something like
“That was quite the journey if I can say so myself.”

and then
there would be nothing left
to conquer in the vacuum of space
but the visual of your immortality
cloaked in the heavens.